AskDrRachel.com

First, let me say that I have a terrific mother-in-law.  She has welcomed me into her heart and into her life, encourages me in my life and in my relationship to her son, and is a spectacular grandmother.  Second, let me say that although she knows I never respond to mass emailings, she sends them my way anyway when she finds that they make her think of me.

Today she sent along an email with photos of abused and neglected children with a gut-wrenching poem describing the hell these kids go through daily, and an imagined heart-cry they must feel when so ill-treated by the very people who should be their protectors and caregivers. 

I couldn't read it.  I see it too often in real life.

This time, I was motivated to respond, not only to her but to everyone in her email blast - very unusual for me.  The text of my response is below.  I had to share it with y'all as well...

"Child abuse IS as horrible as the photos and poem describe and it happens DAILY.  Violence is the #1 cause of death in children, and Oklahoma leads the 50 states in child deaths due to abuse!  I have seen too much of this first-hand as a physician.

Child abuse happens most often because uneducated and unsupported parents have unrealistic expectations of their children's behavior - when a mother tries to force her 9 month old to be potty trained because the family have no money for diapers and "it's the kid's turn to help the family" or a father throws his child against the wall for being unable to communicate rationally at 18 months, it is up to all of us to help!  Parents don't do these things because they are "evil," although believing so makes it more convenient for us to shake our heads collectively and passively do nothing.  To do nothing is to allow the abuse to continue.  And generations of families will continue to suffer as these children do.

This is why I serve on the Board of Directors of Prevent Child Abuse Oklahoma and the Exchange Club Center for the Prevention of Child Abuse.  Exchange Clubs (like Lions or Rotary) exist throughout the U.S. and their goal is to provide education and support for parents BEFORE the abuse happens.  By identifying at-risk families and bringing social workers into those families' homes to teach proper parenting techniques and provide social support, and through meeting the most basic needs of the families, the center in Oklahoma (and in other states) has proven its success time and time again - the families' stories when we meet are heartwrenchingly beautiful and the families are so thankful to have had the chance not to become abusers!  Over 1500 Oklahoma families have been helped so far, and the Center receives referrals daily - from hospitals, DHS, the court system and families asking for help.

I am responding to this email because I feel so strongly about it that I have decided to help do something.  If you can volunteer for an organization that helps prevent child abuse or if you are moved to donate, please contact your local Exchange Club.  I have also included the email address for our Executive Director in the CC: section.  I do not benefit personally from this request and will have no way of knowing if you choose not to respond, but I do want you to know when you see things as emotionally wrenching as this that there are organizations like ours out there trying to help and that these groups need manpower and money to keep the work going.

Thanks for listening,